Strangely, I can’t sleep tonight. This is not a usual thing for I am usually physically drained by the time I hit the bed and it is right now past 3am. For some strange reason, I am completely alert and charged. According to Biblical calendar, we entered into the year 5447 on 4 September 2013. The year is 5447 is called Ayin Dalet. It is said that this is a year of open door(s) of opportunities and behind the door(s) is our new spring of water. True enough I already saw doors being left ajar waiting for me to push them wide open and walk through them just as we are entering into this new year.
I find my doors are not the usual ones that are standing upright. It takes so much from me to get through the doors. I find that I cannot walk through them the way I used to. New ways are needed. I need to be free to tilt myself and enter in. It is so hard, even as I wrestle with God so many times for it is so difficult asking God to make me willing. The red doors present the blood of the lamb that was shed so that we can walk into our destiny, these red doors.
There is a shift within me that I did not even know when or how it happened. My spirit catches something in the natural which my mind and my heart do not even have knowledge of. I am usually a person who leans a lot on my “gut feel”, which I believe is the Holy Spirit speaking to me. This shift is not simply a gut-feel. It feels almost like catching something in the spiritual, but the understanding is left clueless. My mind is unable to make sense and yet my emotions are able to respond. The restlessness of tonight is one of adrenaline and a sense of hope. There is nothing during today or this week to be able to trigger such gladness. This is an excitment of expectation, of what I am not sure. This is a complete opposite of what I was feeling the past few weeks, a heavy heart. God is going to do something new and good. In waiting mode.
Interestingly, now that I have come to the end of this post, I am getting sleepy and thus signing off!